Friday, January 8, 2016

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"Clueless" How To- Enjoying My Own Company

I think it's very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.
                                                                                                                      ~Oscar Wilde




Weird, Abnormal, and (my all time favorite) "She has issues" are just some of the "wonderful" words used to describe me. There was a time those words bothered me but the older I get... the less I give a damn. I've embraced my "weirdness", it's what makes me ME. I'm sure those words got mixed up and was really meant to say that I'm AWESOME!!!

Before I got to the point of enjoying my own company, I was the quiet girl who rarely used the word NO. That was then... and now that word is a favorite. I was the kind of person that went out of my way for people who I shouldn't have. I thought that they would definitely return the favor when I needed them. Yeah... about that.

Now that the word NO is a part of my vocabulary, all of a sudden I'm "out of character". I've "changed". I'm "evil". There's this sudden "concern" that something is wrong with me. The nerve of me to finally start looking out for me, myself, and I. You know what that means? They coming for my ass to "wish me the best".




I've put myself out there to be more social and the results of that just drains my energy. So, I'll just stick with enjoying my own company. 


Have you ever thought to yourself, I've known this person for X amount of years and the word "friend" is not a word you feel comfortable using around them? Yeah... me too. This person seems to only want to be around when they're going through some ish and need you to comfort them. But when you need them…


Friendships come so cheap nowadays and I'm not wasting anymore time with people who add no value to my life. Experience has taught me that not everyone wants to be my friend and not everyone can be my friend. I'm the kind of person if I like you it shows and if I don't it shows as well. I'm not good at this fake liking thing. It's exhausting getting people whose actions make it clear that they don't give two fucks about me.


So, why should I pretend to like this person? I will happily burn that bridge if there's no value in keeping this "friendship" going.


BENEFITS OF ENJOYING YOUR OWN COMPANY

You become comfortable with who you really are- Do you know who you are? Seriously, do you? Solitude can help you get a much better understanding of your likes-dislikes, strengths-weakness, and more.

Less stress- You're not involved in the he say-she say drama. I swear for some people a day without drama is like a bad day for them.

Creativity- You get to do things that you never thought was possible and you just might be successful at it.

Some "friends" will be fake supportive at first but when they see you are serious… here they come and here I go...


I'm an introvert with extroverted tendencies. Enjoying my solitude doesn't mean I'm anti-social, boring, or all the other made up stuff about introverts. Some of us are fun but we gotta make sure you're "weird" too for us to act a fool. ;)

WAYS TO ENJOY YOUR OWN COMPANY

GET OUT THERE- Want to see a movie, try a new restaurant, travel? What are you waiting for? Go for it! Don't let anybody stop you or think that it's "weird" to do it by yourself. To be honest sometimes when you plan outings with people it doesn't always go as planned. Why not save yourself the hassle and enjoy it without them.

LEARN SOMETHING NEW- Cooking, New Language, Gardening, Sewing, the list goes on and on. That something new for me was/is blogging. I thought the blogosphere was reserved for writers and online magazines. I was so wrong about that once I discovered the natural hair community. And the rest  is history.

I also joined Twitter, and it is paradise for someone like me. I can be social without physically being there. I've joined in on several chats that has allowed me to find and follow some amazing people along the way. It's one of my favorite thing to do on Twitter.

I'm also going to start joining other chats that I normally wouldn't have. I look at it as a learning experience where I can stalk and harass and finding even more awesome people to follow. 

I went to a stone crab festival.

EXERCISE- Like most people I have a love/hate relationship with exercising. But I feel good after a good workout. I prefer "lazy" workouts and yoga is one of my all time favorite. I'm trying to be more advanced with it and I've been thinking about aerial yoga. That's something a "weirdo" like me would definitely do.

VOLUNTEER- There are lots and lots of places to volunteer your time. Find an organization that interests you and go from there. You can meet some really interesting people or learn a few things.



I went to see Salt -N- Pepa, Vanilla Ice, Rob Base, Color Me Badd, and more at the Legends Of The Old School concert. Yes, I went by myself but it didn't feel like it. There was a group sitting in the same row as me and one of the girls introduced herself to me. You would've think we came together because we were going down memory lane singing and dancing.  

Are you enjoying your own company?


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